im irked.

because of one certain person, i completely missed the spree to get my christmas presents. so now! i have to search for two more presents when i could have easily crossed them out. *sulks* and i realised that this certain person has been saying "i'll return my share of the money during january. (since we share christmas presents for 5 people) I think Kingdom come.. i still won't see that amount of money and if you add up all the years of "i'll return you my share"s... i could have a lot of money in my bank account now.

scrooge. thy name is adeline.

i was just talking to john and the discussion turned to teachers.. Not the thank-you-so-much-for-inspiring-me kind but the you-can-die-in-a-car-accident-and-i-will-not-care.

During my HR lessons, i learnt about how past events and people can affect your whole character. I remember how in secondary school, one whole grp of teachers ganged up against me and how i always felt like the dog that gets beaten repeatedly until it admits defeat. i won't go into all the explicit details that made me really bitter till today but i remember the days of dread where i had to face their insults in front of my whole class and then have to hold my head up high, pretending that i didnt let them get to me.. and then going home to cry in the shower. What is it with people who like to get happy-go-lucky people down? Anyways, so in a weird sense i can see how those years have contributed to how i simply cannot wrap my head around teachers. Like it's really cool that NUS teachers like to treat us as equals but some part of me still cannot trust them to be that sincere. It's difficult to overcome such a ingrated thinking that most teachers cannot be trusted and are out to put you down just for the sake of it.

i saw one teacher from that gang the other day in macs when i was with jill. You know, i have fantasize many times about what i would do when i meet them outside after i have graduated.. And most times have me going up to them and telling them off or pouring something over them.. but when it finally came down to it, all i could do was give her a disgusted glare and ignore her because i simply could not stand being in her presence anymore. Nothing i do to them now can make up for their vindicative and spiteful actions. All i can think about is karma.

I remember reading my diary entries from those days and crying and ranting for the girl. Just remembering everying single thing that they said and made me do, just makes me very sad for girl i was then.

I recognise that my life has been anything but bleak since then. I have a wonderful circle of family and friends (and dog! heh) who have chased away any self doubt i had. I know there are some wonderful teachers out there and I have had experiences with awesome teachers, even though i was pretty guarded around them.

In a way, teachers can be separated into those who see falling leaves as a sign that the tree is going to die while others see fallin leaves as a sign of the tree's re-birth. I know that those 5 teachers belong to the first group. But you can say partly because of them, i cannot recognise the latter group and that makes me really sad.

The feeling of wariness is not easy to overcome and i guess couple it with incidents from irene, deranged rabbit, nick (or was it nicolas?), it is something that i never want to let go of.


kudos to john for the quote

i'm officially giddy with happiness now. Youtube finally uploaded the latest episode of survivor. i was right in my predictions and someone on the forums said tt my comment was brillant! HAHAHA! yesh. this is what losers do. sigh.

i feel real accomplished right now. Just ordered several christmas presents [one for ting, one for pei. We are still doing the christmas exchange presents right? it's just so easy to find presents for you guys! :)]

so that just leaves....... 13 more presents to go.

christmas is only fun if you are rich. Probably have to live on bread and water after this!

i need suggestions for:
a) what to get a man who loves gadgets like torches that do not need battery. Like a computer toy.

b) what to get a guy going into army.

c) what to get for 14 year old girls

i must admit, i was totally not in the exam mood till today, halfway through the paper. I was reminded of the quote, "i try to think but nothing comes out" from the 3 stooges.

bought dash a new toy so that he can play "fetch". He can run after the bone and catch it but he doesnt bring it back and if he does bring it back, he refuses to let go of the toy. So we're working on that.

PS dear john, you are losing.

im officially in love with yul.

For those who have not watched Survivor: Cook Islands.. Spoilers ahead.
Love love the yul/becky alliance. Watched the insider video of him offereing the immunity to her and she refusing to take it.. awwww.. Totally on the Aitu love train man! keep on replaying their challenges! heh

here's the asian team (puka).


here's yummylicious brad. sucha pity he's gay.


yul my love



yul/becky alliance. my fav alliance ever!



Becky.. she has the smarts..


They merge into two teams later on.. and thru a twist in events.. aitu becomes everyone's favourite underdog. go AITU! love this pic of aitu.. seems like the immunity idol is like a 5th member! hahaha!



here's ozzy looking very baywatch-ish


aitu's celebration


all photos courtesy of cbs.com. catch survivor there.

spoilers end.

im such a loser.. but i really love yul! if only he and becky could really get together!

is it wrong to be invest more emotions into reality shows than my own exam? sigh

......... let's just see what i have accomplished with the exams just 3 days away.

Goals:
to listen to all the webcast lectures by monday and study the two books by wednesday
to learn how to do measurement on sunday.

what i have accomplished so far:
-watched the next cycle (7) of America's Next Top Model on youtube. believe me when i say you will miss jade from the season that just ended on Channel 5.

- watched "Survivor: the cook islands" on youtube. all the way till the current episode being aired in USA now.

- watched the *wins get kicked off Amazing race. Gah!

- answered two questions on Yahoo! Answers and scored ten points. yay me!

- posted a question on Yahoo! Questions (Has Bangkok's chatchuchak market really closed down? Ans: it has not. the area tt closed down was another market in front of Chatchuchak so yay us!)

- researched on bangkok.

- watched repeated episodes of wade robson. christine is right. he is sex on legs.

- cut my hair

- ate two whole boxes of oatmeal cranberry cookies.. yummmmmmmmmmm

now.. it looks like a lot but if i compared my accomplishments with my goal lists... i did absolutely nothing that was productive.

though i must say survivor: cook islands' has some very very very YUMMY asian guys. i love brad. and he's gay. yes. it always has to be the cute guys who are gay. oh brad.. what does he have that i don't?? okay, im gonna start growing a penis or something.

then again, there's consolation in the fact tt Yul and Ozzy remain! Yul is not very good looking but has the smarts and tacts... hmmmm. Lovin the aitu tribe. AITU LOVE! whcih of course means they gonna lose. Why do the teams i root for always lose??

so.. two BBQs in a week.

I realise my strategy in parties is to position myself next to the food and just gobble every thing up. That helps me to
a) avoid talking
b) make an excuse to be anti social

HR exam on fri was an utter complete disaster... was pretty upset over that and i think it crept into my party mood for jill's BBQ. im really glad i dragged jianxiang along. He sure was on a roll! It was good seeing joann again... and oh ya! i saw kenneth who had a mohawk the last time i saw him i think. Jill wore a wonderful dress and i was soooo jealous of her dress and fab tan! gah! if she wasn't my best friend, i tink i would have had to stab her in the eye with chopsticks! hahahahah!

i realised that it really takes someone to like you for you to understand that you are not ready for a relationship yet.

i love my dog, dash! i love how he looks up and smiles (he does!) at me as he trots next to me during our walks. I love how he smiles when i give him a belly rub.. i love how he stubbornly ventures onto our patio despite the many attempts by my parents to chase him off the patio. I love how he runs to get his slice of pear when i try to get it. i love petting him rubbing him all over.. i love how i can call him fatty and still be awarded with a wagging tail! He's funny la. can be irritating but how can you stay mad with a sweet dog who keeps on nudging his way into your arms if you sit on the patio?? and i love his attitude. like he will not care about your comings and goings during the afternoons.. he's too busy sunbathing and sleeping.. if you are lucky, all you can get is him moving his head towards your general direction to acknowledge you. But if you come back in the afternoon, he will be waiting by the gate with his paws hanging down... lookin like a picture of absolute adorable-ness (??). awwwww...

my younger sis had a BBQ today and i just used dash as an excuse not to go into the house to watch the movie. heh. he was an absolute cutie-pie and such a darling! petted him till he went to sleep.. Is it me or does anyone else realise that when you speak to babies, your voice goes a bit higher and when you talk to a dog going "who's a good boy?who's a good boy?" your voice goes lower?

heh.. all in all.. pretty good parties..

dear jianxiang.... i have a friend called john......... hahaha!

the heavens are against me.

so here i was at 1 a.m. grooving to the beat of the "My love" by justin timberlake (awesome song by the way), wriggling my bum and doing the silly-pointing-to-the-ceiling-so-70s movement and i realised that my neighbour can see directly into my living room.


I'm never stepping out of the house again. oh wait. the piano teacher comes into the house. okay fine. i'm never stepping out of my bedroom then.

I simply love the fact that for today..everytime i looked up into the sky, i know that somewhere across the Pacific Ocean (i hope it's the right ocean), ting is celebrating her birthday. And that fact alone makes it a wonderful day indeed.


heh.
it's ting's birthday!

i miss ting like hell. As in it's bad enough she ain't in spore.. but she's not even on MSN due to her exams! #$%@*! exams! you...you... friend stealer!

okay! here goes.. it ain't gonna make anybody cry but i just wanna express to ting in her own way how much i love her!

to dearest ting;

i love you for creating such happy memories in NYJC with me. Doing crazy ass shit stuff like "borrowing" pei's present (remember how long we lingered around?? hahaha!) and ogling at band guy(well.. maybe not so much) and monkey! Of course, there is all those loverboy stuff which greatly entertained you guys.. And there was seng tat (HAHAHA!), the P.E. lessons where miss audrey called a 2.4 km run "a refreshing breeze" and of course the showers right after P.E. First came Batman and Robin.. then came Penguin. teeheehee! And remember our chinese teacher who matched her clothes? Remember the time when we couldnt see her because her dress was the exact print of the brick wall? I remember how we would howl with laughter. Those were times when we really laughed belly-ache-wanna-cry laughter! Remember how we had to go SPH Holdings for our report and we waited for a bus so long, Zuhairah had to write in her notes that the bus went on strike.
I remember studying over at your house, attending wendy's tuition lessons with her smashed in tortise and many hamsters and the bus rides home.. I really really miss those times. NYJC wouldnot have been as fun without you there.

I love you for all the happy times after graduation. We worked together and bitched about the horrid kids, waxed lyrical about the nice ones. Remember making the huge ass candle in my house? Hahahaha I think i have it still! Then we went into NUS together. That first sem was the happiest sem. i remember moving into PGP together. And all the dinners and late suppers together. I remember how after a bad day, i would just knock on your door.Living as real neighbours.. Remember our pact that if i had a lizard in my room, you would get rid of it for me.. and if you had a cockroach in your room, you would call me? hahahaha! Turned out that the one time a cockroach chose to show up in your room, i wasn't around! You have no idea how badly i missed you after you moved to australia.

You once said that it's funny how when one person gets you down, there's always another to pick you up. Well, it's mostly true because you have always been there to pick me up after i come back from a huge bashing in the emotion ring.

I love you for all the times you stood by me. I love how you are when i get into trouble. If i committed murder, you would probably reasoned out why the victim deserved to die! heh. One incident which stands out in my mind is when you duan broke up with me 2 weeks before the exams, i had to run to your house and use up one whole box of tissue. And you had to alternate between revising and comforting me. and the recent incident of robin has made me really grateful for having you in my life. Not only did you not judge me, you told me that we would get through it together. Having someone there to just listen and not judge me really helped a lot. You knew then, that although i couldn't bring myself to see him for what he really is, the words "it's your fault" would break me. Im really really grateful you stood by me while the whole mess crumbled around me. You were my emotional safety net and i really need to thank you for that. Your emails were really awesome. I love how i never had an indication from you about how your friends confiding in you was a burden. i love how i know what i tell u stays with you and how you always are willing to be just be there. Every time i have a bad day, i always sign in to MSN messenger to see whether you are there.. but it's not the same as knocking on ur room's door huh? i miss you so...

I love you.. I love everything that has made you the way you are today. I love your funny little quirks like your socks in JC (hee! hang ten! i still can remember!). I love how u cannot get drunk ( of course that bottle of tea had a lot to do with not getting drunk.)and i love your chim ge lao sai blog posts. heh.. in case you didn't know, the topic sentence is "i love love you!"

So i hope that you had a grand time celebrating your very special day. screw the exams! :)

happy birthday my love.

oh fuck. i was so engrossed in editing this dude's work (i swear.. i re-writing every bloody messed up sentence of his. the worst job in the world is to be the editor of said dude's work.) that i didnt know what was happening around me.

So here i am, listening to Frankie Valli's "Big Girls don't cry" and well singing to it.. For the benefit of those who haven heard this song, it's an oldie and they sing with helium voices in it. And i was singing to it in my helium voice when i looked up and saw my sister's piano teacher in the same room. i am MORTIFIED. this is what happens if u plug in earphones and blast the volume.


on a side note: big balding bastard is going ireland for exchange. Here's hoping he fuckin drowns in clovers.

i just sat through a revision lecture.. and it was a scary movie from start to end.

just sat there petrified and could literally hear the scary soundtrack play for every slide he showed... this is so so bad.

The episode of bizarre getting punk'd is dang funny.. check it out!

im happieee! wheeee!

Finally went to vivo city today and it was a perfect outin from beginning to the very end!

How to score tt perfect outing
1) Eat chocolate from chocolate art (now promotion 10 pieces for $10)
2) Step into forever21 and spend a full 30 secs rooted to the spot just to take in the sight.. it's like a gift from santa!
3) disappear into stores
4) Go to carl's jr
5) Watch "The Prestige" (super good show! i recommend it!)
6) Argue abt the storyplot
7) Wade around in their rooftop's pools
8) Eat ben and jerry's ice cream while walkin along the pier
9) sitting by the harbour to watch the sky and talk cock
10) ending it all with a perfect dinner at Whitedog

this is life. indeed.

:):):)