<body>
kidnapmyheart
Take me away cause falling in love ain't very far
information
shut up and sit down
Adel :D
A rather infrequent blogger who nags at other bloggers to update their blogs.
She loves colourful stuff but is often seen wearing black and white. An office rat, she's often found chasing the sun during the weekends. Her curent aim in life is to be able to whistle the entire tune of "Jingle Bells"

affiliates
hook me up
Alvinna's School Duet Asilah's dusty blog Claryce's Well of Strength Sherlin's Directory Josh's love stories Ting's photobook Neela's recipebook Mel's Textbook
tagboard
scream your lungs
Your tagboard width 190px<.
memories
scary flashbacks
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006 08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007 04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007 05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007 11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007 12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008 01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008 02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008 05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009 08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009 09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009 10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009 12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010 01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010 02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
credits
its easy to clap
Layout : materialisti-c
Resources: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Monday, April 24, 200611:54 PM
there you go pearlyn. you asked me to delete it and i did.

on saturday night, i read pearlyn's blog. the "someone" she mentions is me.

in her post, she doesnt mention my name but puts me down as someone. how do i know its me? On tuesday, she stood me up because it was raining. i was not pissed because she stood me up but rather because she waited till i smsed her to give me a reply that she may not be able to make it as it was raining. I take 1 and a half hours to get to school. is it wrong of me to expect the basic courtesy for one to sms me a precaution that they may not wan to get to school.? (Note that she was in NTU and had a car.) the next morning, she smsed me saying that it was cause her battery was flat. Up to today, i feel that that is not a good excuse because e phone gives many warnings before anyone's phone battery runs out.. so you can either sms all your impt messages out.. or if you realised it after the phone batt has died, you can swap sim card with your friend. is it not reasonable to assume such a scenario?

i did not reply as i did not feel like confronting people before their exams. but when i read a blog post of hers about how depressed she was.. i decided to stop being a petty bitch. i mean, i was guessing that she had a lot of problems (as mentioned in her blog) and i didnt wan to be one of them. so i smsed her "read your blog. don't be upset anymore. good luck for your exams"

sunday was jinyu's birhtday so i was on webcam with him on MSN.. so there i was, happily showing off how i would shoot with a hand gun, offering him a oreo birhtday cake and all.. when he left i decided to surf blogs. and i saw her post.. i wanted to copy and paste it to this blog so as to let u see the exact wording of it but it wouldnt allow me to do it.

i read it to jinyu. a few others like geetha read it. so you can check with them whether they remember the exact wording.

here are a few words that stuck with me.
"im rather amused that someone smsed me today askin me not to be upset when it was that someone who sparked off my depression. i mean, we both know that you are stupid. but how stupid can you get? i wonder how you could have gone through 20 odd years of your life being so stupid and not aware of yourself. have you any idea what you are doing to hurt your loved ones........ you have no idea how pathetic you are to consider that we have a "friendship" going on. i cringe everytime i think of all the time i have to be alone with you. i had to put on a FAKE smile when i meet you. ....im glad i ended this friendship because you ....."


it went on like this for at least 2 whole paragraphs.
firstly: "hurting my loved ones"??
secondly: if im like a bug to her, how the hell am i responsible for sparking off her depression?

Malicious words like these, once read, cannot be taken back. Perhaps that is why she closed down her blog. Yes, she closed down her blog. ashamed? or perhaps to create more drama or continue to pen down such vindicative posts? we'll never know.

i will not pretend that to laugh this off. yes, i am affected by this. i have known and hung out with this girl for at least 5 months. when someone tagged on her blog hinting that she was ugly, she called me and i taught her how to delete the post. when she wanted to set up a blog last semester during exams, she called me. when she wanted to talk about certain guys, she would chatter about them. we studied together last sem. now, she tells me tt all this while she has been faking a smile everytime she sees me. how can i not be affected?

in america, when she wanted to join us for partying.. i had to use a lot of persuasion and act as the barrier so that she would not know that she was not welcome. i kept the josef secret frm her because i did not want to hurt her feelings. anytime people asked me when anyone asked me to describe her, i would say "she has a good heart".. so imagine to find how spiteful she can be. its like a dog turning around to bite you.

you see. what gets me most is that she intents to hurt with malice. because she made up her mind to cut me out of her life, she doesn't care what i feel like after i read her message. and on her exit out, she wants to drag me down with her in studies. i'm in the midst of my exams. i know that she has not been studying because she just got herself a new boyfriend and they are in their honeymoon stage. so am i the scrapegoat to blame for her (if they ever are) poor results? misery loves company. am i the one she wants to see fall with her?

to pearlyn: maybe you will read this post. maybe you won't. whatever it is i think that i will feel much better posting down my thoughts down here.

im sorry that i thought better of you.
im sorry that you felt a need to broadcast it to the whole world via internet yet not have the courage to tell it to my face.
im sorry you felt that you had to use such a malicious way to get your own means.
im sorry that my impression of you has been ruined. you see, i may bitch and all. but i know when to draw a line. the horrifying reveal of the venomous side of you has been an eye opener. for you to proudly proclaim that you couldnt stand me yet would smile a FAKE smile at me... im sorry that you have to be reduced to such a stage.
im sorry that you feel a need to find a scrapegoat for your anger or fear of exams. try yoga.

im not sorry for the times when i defended you from others.
im not sorry for taking your feelings into consideration and asking people to not say stuff in front you so that you will not be hurt.
im not sorry that i listened to your problems when you came to me.
im not sorry for helping you.
im not sorry for givin you advice when you called for it.
im not sorry not because it's you, but rather because it's the way i am. i don't ever want to sink down to your level. Thank you so much for showing me what i do not want to be. i never want to be portrayed the way you have behaved.

i told my mum and friends about this because yes. i am affected. wasn't it your intent? and my friends who didnt even noe the someone was me asked me why would i read such a blog because it was clear that the blogger does not send good vibes. i never wan people to read my words and go "it's clear from the blog entries that this blogger is very self centered, poisonous and immature."

go ahead. i noe you would have deleted my number, my msn for your list. i know the rough draft of how you have dissed me. hide your blog so that disbelieving people won't be able confirm your words.

well, one thing's for sure, i passed on my bad karma. hey. im made of tougher stuff. after all, i survived good ol' nick the uncle who needed 5 alarm clocks! hahahahaha!


that's the difference between you and me. i have class and i will never ever intentionally hurt someone for my selfish gains. i say what i have to say out. i don't try to take back my words by hiding my blog so that you have no chance to defend yourself.
it just goes to show ain't it? if you are spiteful on the inside, it shows on the outside.

alright, i got to go study because i will never ever find a scrapegoat to blame my poor results on.

the poor little rich girl. rich in everything but lacking the stuff that matter the most.
back to the top