im so pissed now...
can feel a vein poppin in my head! i cannot cannot CANNOT believe that he actually did that! *steams* ASS-HOLE! little swine actually thinks im hurt! oh gosh. im IRRITATED! what even makes him think tt he is capable of hurting me. fucker.. oh gosh. im gonna curse and swear in this blog post.. im so sorry.. but here is to tt special someone.

if you want, look down on me all you want.. i dun give a dipshit about what you think, you narrow minded anal pig headed ass. Go ahead.. talk crap to me.. tell me how DISAPPOINTED you are in me. who the fuck are you to me? Go ahead.. tell me how i need to be forgiven by you.
Tell me how i have changed. Go ahead tell me about the Asian moral values which somehow include "not being close to anyone who is not asian" "all non-asians are bad" (reminds you of animal farm huh? 4 legs good.. 2 legs bad.. here is.. yellow skin good.. anything else baddddd")
Go ahead.. compare me to your fucking stripper. Go ahead, say that i am a disgrace to Asian people just cause i chose to tend to the accomodation needs of the slovakians. They had no place to sleep! i invited them to the party so of course i had to find a room for them to sleep! is that wrong? Asking them to cycle all the way back to their apartment at 4 am in the morning is dangerous!

Go ahead, tell me that how sincere you are in keeping this friendship. And then go tell everyone how bad my studies are. Yes. My grades suck. I admit it. I am ashamed of them. so what if you are on the dean's list? i'm gonna make good. I'm gonna pull my socks up. Unlike you, i have good friends.. who accept my flaws and all.. who.. unlike you.. are fun to be with! i love them.. and they, me. so fuck off. you suck.

How dare you?? how dare you even think you are superior to me?? Stop! asking me why i'm so cold towards you. Stop! asking me why we dun ever meet up. Stop! asking me whether i am irritated with you! STOP IT ALL! how dare you say all tt stuff and expect pple not to be irritated? how dare you think one word "sorry "can make everything fine and dandy again? you crossed the fuckin tolerance limit. Stop saying that you rather kana bang by car blah blah blah.. have misfortunates come upon you..than to lose a friend. *rolls eyes* please.. im the drama queen here. not you. Guys say things that they dun mean. that's all very poetic and all.. but hmmm i seemed to have heard it from some channel 8 drama serial so seriously, spare me. If you actually wanted to keep this fren, well you shud have listened to her when she hinted for you to stop it. NooooooOOOOO.. let your fucking mouth work faster than your brain. Be tactless. Be stupid. Be irritating. Start shooting your mouth off and then act all puppy marthyr when pple start to ignore you as they would to a pesky telemarketer. how can anyone be this dense?

what gets me is that this guy actually tinks im hurt by his actions! *SCREAMS* i am irritated! would you get hurt by a child throwing tantrams in a supermarket? no. you get irritated, ignore the child and move on. Would you get hurt by a persistent vendor/telemarketer/salesman?
would you get hurt by a bloody cockadoo who sprouts nonsense.. wasting away those precious moments of your life by filling your ears with crap? No! you get irritated! that is what irritated means! I-R-R-T-A-T-ED: to rouse to impatience to anger. which part of that does he not get? he sucks. anyways! i told him to fuck it lahz... Go me!

to sum it up...
i seriously cannot believe the nerve of this guy to irritate the heck out of me and then have the ego to think his remarks were hurting. no. his remarks are like mosquito bites.. harmless but irritating.. what wud hurt is a fuckin bee sting. which he can never be.


on a lighter note... i finally saw christine and malcolm today! love love LOVE! gosh. missed them so much! (of coz i didnt miss malcolm as soon as he reached down to hug me and patted my tummy to promptly tell me tt i grew fatter. -_-) we didnt get much time to go thru my 3000 photos.. coz christine was too busy droolin over the ones i took of (supposed) hunks. According to christine, stano is "OMIGAWDDD! so hooooottt! he's cuttttee!" (bet cheeyen is smiling to herseld right now..) majo is "eh.. adel.. he's actually quite cute lahz horz? eh Adeeeellllllll.. I HATE YOU." ya.. had to wipe her drool off my dear laptop. Malcolm was more exicted about my NBA picutres.. which i took much glee in showing off to him.. Then.. of coz the sadistic streak in me showed him the pictures i took of the New York's NBA store. BWAHAHAHHAHAA!

pearlyn just sent me a photo of majo and me at the very party where i got drunk at. am totally embarrassed by it. My face is like a little lobster and i can see double chin! *shrieks!* majo.. as always.. looks good.. with a little know-it-all/ aint-she-drunk-while-im-not smile on his face.. or should i say smirk?? bah! so my day is immediately cheered up by laughing at my own photo. (can you say narcisstic?) It's funny! i reallie look bad when im drunk.. (mental note to oneself: never get drunk again) it is my MSN pic when i sign in on my house com.. take a look at it and laugh with me k?

random thoughts:
am so in love with christine's bag.
i'm fuckin sorry.
am such a hypocrite some times.
abercrombie's perfume rocks!

why can't they understand the way we feel? they just don't trust what they can't explain. I know that we are different but deep inside us, we're not tt different at all.
what my mind cannot understand, my heart will.
the players play then the players get played.

we stepped out of our lives when everything was going alright. came back as changed people. and now we find it difficult to fit into the place we once were comfortable in.
it's difficult to be strong when you feel so alone. when all your friends have their own lives to lead, you don't exactly wan to burden them with your sobs and whines, so you spend each day as a emotionless robot. You can't cry, you can't whine, you smile, you go on.. you have to coz it's your own damn fault.

ting is right. living life is easy with your eyes closed. but is it necessarily happier?