i am slowly but steadily goin crazy.

more unbelievable shit. coz last nite i couldnt take it and smsed him bac usin my hp...blasted off 8 smses... tellin him tt i do wan things to work out and not make things difficult for andy. i may be 19 years old but im tryin very hard to be more understanding. i also admitted tt he was right just tt i did not appreciate the way he put it across (talk about swallowin some pride) i forgot wat else i wrote in the first 4 smses.. but my next 4 sms went like this "i have no wish to fight or bitch wif you cause that would only make things diffcult for andy.. so i shall not attempt to clear up any misconception you have about me. i part with one last question. while im heeding your advice on getting some friends or a life as your tone so implied.. why dont you take some advice from a carpet muncher? get your own alarm clock. uncle.. i wish you a happy life"

somehow i feel like a bloody idiot playin tug of war. anyway.. this morn he replied that he has a caustic mouth and he is cool if i am... so im like okay.. settled.. next thing i know he smses this during lunch :

"Guess the likes of u will bring any MAN far in life. Incessant meanderings like a lesbian who just discovered cock! Guess a dildo is in order when you get lonely. which is a lot. will send you one."

it's true. im not makin it up. i leave u to judge him. coz im so tired of this ridiculous old man.

keep your hands where i can see them. don't u ever dare mess with my man.

im so pissed now... i cant resist bloggin. unbelievable shit just happened. just when we had resolved to solve the problems between us... andy's boss just called and spoke to me. hey.. i thot a relationship is supposed to be between 2 people? NooooOOOOO.. it's like since he pays andy a whoopin $450..... he owns andy or something. what the hell is he doin tryin to intefere? and there he was goin on and on bout his irritatin shit bout how when andy is affected.. his work is affected.. hence he is involved. now now... shall i quote some truly remarkable gems frm his stimulatin conversation?

" i know tt you are only 19 years old...you are still growing" uncle... better being 19 years old and tryin to grow up then being 30 something years old and still not being able to grow up. who is the one without an alarm clock? take ur hand off my man.

"if you are lonely, go find some friends" this was said in a very sarcastic and bitchy tone tt reallie made me fill up with fury. hello. what i said was... sometimes u can be in a relationship and still feel lonely. everyone understands how it is. and who is the one who has no life uncle? stupid prick. after work also call andy for personal stuff. tink i dunooe... *sniffs* i peep over his shoulder sometimes too u noe.. just like you do .. uncle. take your paw off my man.

"this is very logical" right. a boss callin the gf and then gettin fuckin emotional and bitchy? when the gf is practically a stranger? even i wont use the f word around a stranger. my mama taught me better than that. this is wat we chinese call no "jia jiao"( house manners). uncle. take ur hand off my man.

"19 year old carpet muncher" fuckhead. inm shakin with anger now.. jealous of youth? say so you bald fat old man. no need for such low childish stupid remarks. better a carpet muncher than an old bald fat gay uncle. who had better take his hand off my man.

"i asked andy whether he wanted a girlfriend who he can find anytime or a brillant resume" this statement is not in the exact words.. but tt is the gist. couldn reallie hear aft a while course tt ang moh wannabe has a goddamn slang which reallie ie very irritatin.. and andy was playin the football game on my com so couldnt hear like 1/2 of what he said. and of coz my dear uncle.. not everyone is like u.. destined to be lonely forever... u always put business first... i wud like to see u when u are old. u tink ur (few) drinkin buddies are gonna wan to see you when u are dyin? yoiu think they wanna take care of you in ur last days? when u go around.. thinkin the whole world is about you... and just being plain rude to everyone??? chances are.. pple are gonna wan to see you die.

"i just wan you to be understand" wtf. "don't you think andy's girlfriend should be more understanding/patient/tolerant" the best part was before this.. i promised to be more understanding... this kind of change u cant see overnight wat.. IM TRYING! wait. ok so our uncle tell me.... he only get weekends with andy.. riiiiighhhtttt.... he gets weekends... tues wed and fri... these 3 days he blind ah? then the only 2 days left... we have school the whole day. spend wat? unlike dear uncle.. all still can drink and have fun. im tryin to be more understandin.. but its seriosuy not helpin when there is a damn kay pi oh uncle tryin to get part of the drama. plus.. its pretty diff when u call him after work bout AB NOTHIN lahzzzzz... gawd.. do u not have anybody? oh right. u dun!

"when andy's girlfriend calls him at work, he is distracted" OH MY GAWD. I CAN'T TAKE THIS MANZ! since we got together... u know how many times i call andy at work? can use one hand to count! and those were when i needed to confirm the next day's events.. if not i wan go do my own stuff wat. and i called him around midnight at all.. which work goes all the way till midnight... so i dun see him frm mornin all the way to midnight... am i not allowed one fuckin phone call? and that idiot still dare say "when his girlfriend call 10 times a day"... i nearly blew.. coz hello? which girl is tt? UNCLE DUN TRY TO EXAGERATE. first u say u pay him
$1500. hello.. u multiplied the actual figure by 3 lahz... delusional bastard. take your hands off my man!

trembling with rage now. the thing is u guys should noe how hot tempered i am... im proud of not losin my temper for 2 years runnin now.. thank you thank you.. and the thing is tt... this was so unexpected tt i got a shock. and didnt scold back!!!!!!!!! damn pissed bout tt... coz it was all in my head to say mean stuff back... but for some reason or other i was so shocked and angry i just stood there mouth open in disbelief. took me completely off guard tt this man has no( alarm clock and) life.
here is his sms... oh gosh.. i can imagine our next outin alreadi! tearin him up with such relish and glee! *ahem*
" I know you are tryin. Think adeline will be as understanding? She is a 19 y o carpet muncher. Call me to release" YEP.. andy looked so stressed... sleepin. release wat ?

wah baing i cannot take it. even andy's mother is (wat i like to think) okay with me.. and she is the one who doesnt see much of him more.. she doesn even interfere!!! who is this guy?

thanks jill for callin at the right time.. love ya so much. hell yeah manzzz...

damn you uncle. take your hands off my man. dun u dare mess with me u stupid bald single gay 30 something year old man. dun try to give me advice on my love life. ever. you may be 30 something.. but what do you know?

act.. aft readin thru my post.. realised something.. no longer furious.. just feel very sad for the boss... so poor thing.. very pitiful noe.. face it... he is in his 30s.. and has no life. sighzz... all he has are acquaintences. so when a girl takes away one of his fewcloser frens.. he behaves in such a childish way. and with such an attitude like his.. many people sure bitch bout him. and he hasno life!haiz... lets be good people and mourn silently for him. poor uncle.. i will give u my sympathies and pity... as long as you TAKE YOUR HAND OFF MY MAN!

i love the song mockingbird! hmmmm tink... i wud make a pretty good mistress.
mid sem break was.... productive yet... non-productive in some other sense..
monday -> drove up to malaysia to eat baskin robbins as u can see frm my pics... heh heh heh.. so dun ask me which part of singapore has baskin robbins! didnt see dunkin donuts too.. pity.. anyway.. huge thanks to dear andy who was tired yet drove all the way to malaysia for meeee... and brought me to taste the MOST DELIIICIOUSSS(!) sting ray ever! with loads and loads of chilli! YUM! so no studyin done.

tues-> truly emotional and rocky day. was exhausted, emotionally drained and dead. the better part was tt i finally met up with jill! ahhhhzzz .. been so long girl! i realised something funny that day.. everytime we meet up.. we wud spend the first few mins admirin each other's accessories! then we wud proceed to bitch .. bout 2 unrelated issues! as in she bitch one line bout one subject.. then i answer with another line talkin bout something else! so u have 2 on goin conversations... unless some clueless people with horrible dress sense would cross our path.. then we will side track a little! went out till quite late.. then met up with ah lai and andy to go back.. but shit happens hence was very tired and dead at the end. soooooo... no studyin done!

wed-> geetha's birthday! went bac hme for dinner coz it was the 15th day of chinese new year.. good part was tt i managed to catch lunch with vern! i thot she went off to venus or something!
sooooo.. no studyin done..

thurs-> caught up with pei and mel in town.. had a blast hangin out at bugis.. and we finally took a photo to show the rest of the scattered gang how badly they are missed!! on the way back walked past ting's ex room and suddenly felt very sad all over again tt ting isnt here next to my room... for memory's sake, put my foot against her door's openin to feel whether there was air con.. watched dvd to end the day... sooooo no studyin done...

arent u beginnin to feel tt im pretty screwed? yeahzzz... i tink so too. somebody.. just kill me.

Especially for Neela, Wenting and Zuhairah in their respective countries/planets of Australia and Venus. This picture is dedicated to you! Get the hint! 

Happy Birthday dear sweet sangeetha! this is frm ur frenster coz i realised tt we dun have a photo together!! we must take together soon!  

today.. feb the 23rd... is SANGEETHA'S birthday! *hip hip hooray! cheers wildly*
hey.. this is a serious day okok... dear sweet geetha is the first fren i made in NUS!!

Sangeetha. the push tt makes us slackers go to school.. the sweet girl who always encourages us to study.. who tries to take care of us... when you are reallie depressed and on the verge of punchin something (or whatever makes u happy), she will be there with her sweet beautiful smile.. Thanks girl.. for listenin to me whenever im depressed or in the mood to bitch!
And this is the part where it turns serious.. Geetha dear... saved my life. uh huh. she reallie did. i was gettin bored in buildin lecture.. and she finally relented and said the musical magic words.."okay. Let's play Bingo!" AHHHHHHHHHH.. she pulled me frm the edge! heh

and she's ab sincere... if she says she hates you? she means it! bwahahahahaha... rem good ol oon? together, we can cook up a thousand reasons and ways to kill tt fellow! i love workin with her... sneakin mischievous/disbelievin looks at each other durin meetings.. snortin when some pple say stuff.. heh! and all the notes to communicate what to do! reallie grateful all the times u calmed me down and takin charge of several stuff...

and all those times she wud help us print notes... keep us up to date bout assignments and tests... and rem stat test? how we wanted to punch 'craaaaazzziiieee" and stupid prince charmin? im tellin you.. without geetha.. there is a very good chance many of us would have flunked out of uni liaoz!! she's the glue manzzz... plus she damn patient.. like one mother hen.. will try to take care of her little chicks running haywire! when we dun go to class, she will shake her head and go "haiz.. u ah...cannot always like that know..." but she will still lend us her notes to photocopy.. still can rem last sem... when i asked her to bring her big fat file of buildin notes to let me photocopy.. she did it WITHOUT A COMPLAINT!!!! WOOOooooooaaah! and she didnt blame me when i accidentally tore a page of her notes... she act even tried to help us with stats! even though u can tell she was just ITCHIN to get home to watch her 9.30 drama show! so sweet and generous right? always puttin others before herself! feel so liek the devil beside her! heh!

and she's the optimistic romantic dear who is always preachin about love, romance and relationships.. when u are with her.. u will tink tt the world is full of roses and how love will survive anything! im not sure bout vern, but every time im with geetha, i feel optimistic about love and life! navin sure is lucky to have such a devoted and loyal girlfriend!

In short, im reallie glad to get a chance to be this wonderful girl's friend.. wat a beautiful soul!
This is my first birthday post.. hope i did okay for you geetha! Happy birthday dear... We love you loads!

tell me when will i be the first in your heart.

Please, please forgive me
But I won't be home again
Maybe someday you'll look up
And barely conscious, you'll say to no one
Isn't something missing
You won't cry for my absence, I know
You forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant
Am I so insignificant
Isn't something missing
Isn't someone missing me
Even though I'm the sacrifice
You won't try for me, not now
Though I'd die to know you love me
I'm all alone
And if I bleed
I'll bleed
Knowing you don't care
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there
missing by evanescence.

yesh! baskin robbins! 

hmmmm hint... ice cream! was prepared with my tiny hair pin! 

guess where i went today?? 

every once in a while.... i dunnoe... am startin to feel reallie reallie restless. and the worst part is.. i dun even try to conceal it nowadays.. if it doesnt interest me.. will just automatically switch off and stone. bahzzz.
on the other hand.. got some of the grp photos frm zu.. yay! sighhhzzz realised tt im not photogenic at all!!! bwahahahaha... typical vain girl huh? do u guys mind if i post one photo here?? either 69 or 70... tell me on msn kk??
cant wait to paint mel's room on tues!! heh heh.. pls dun pang seh me kk!! wah liewwwww.... nowadays everyone pang seh me can... blardi.. i get the hint alreadi..
on one hand.... are there assignments we have to hand up??? coz i recall them sayin that we have to hand up some individual shit.. but no one is talkin bout it so im just slackin ard here..
heh.. on the other hand... i got a new french teacher.. she's asian and basically... babbles in french. im screwed. u can imagine my blank look when she is talking! the worst thing is that she doesnt look like a baby is gonna roll out of her anytime. hey.. she will be the one testing my aural! *shrieks* anyways.. she's bent on killin us... i have three conversations to write in french..
4 french exercises and... *shrieks* one french esaay to do.. wats the title? "what the world would look like in... years" sighzzzzz... and i still got to write my views on this stupid french poem. i have no idea wat he is talkin about! haizzzz..
kk.. gonna do it now.. wish me luck!

heh.. a rare pic... to celebrate the occasion of two slackers coming to school! 

Your a water Dragon! Congrats! Like ice dragons,
you are extremly powerful, but show it more
often. You are a leader, and like to speak your
opinion. AND, you are charming, swift, and
great at dancing, ou enjoy getting stuck in the
rain, playing with friends, and swimming
anywhere! Wat-ER you wating for?

What elemental dragon are you?


im bored.. sum people are not callin me to go down for international fiesta lahz!


~*~*~*~ LOVING~*~*~*~Your loving nature makes you wonderful to be
around. You are the type of person that accepts
people for who they are and they in return of
your good heartedness, accept you right back.
You are most likely a romantic at heart. With a
sensitive soul and probably a broken heart from
the past, you don't usually trust people. You
have probably been hurt by someone you love or
loved dearly which makes it hard to confide in
others. Easy going and romantic, fun and
lovable, you have a great personality. You are
very well liked in the general world that
you're in.


You're Beautiful...but why? ( PICS)


being the self centred preein narciss.. love takin this kind of quizzes coz they always praise you.. MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA

BooooOOOOOOO.....
i have empty bottles in my room and reallie dun wan to clean them up... *snorts* dunnoe whu... all come drink drink drink.. then pat backside and go off without cleanin... DUN come and argue with me tt you were all too stoned.. if u all cud walk bac (ok i grant tt u guys cud do the drunken walk very well) you all had enuff neurons and senses to help me clear! DUN say i chased you out kk... u shud be more "zi dong"(have own initiative)! wah lauuuuuuzzzz.....
anyways... i realized tt i have become a loner! neela .. u are not alone... i cant seem to connect with people anymore.. and nothin seems remotely interesting nowadays... terrible terrible!
just realised it just now.. coz we had to go and watch this french cartoon at arts library... right aft tt... i was the first one to leave.. and got stuck at the bus stop.. -_-lll and there i was.. sittin in the midst of people takin french level 2. ard me were people i know frm tutorials and lectures.. but was so anti social.. just sat there and stoned.. they are more like acquaintences? so small talk gets old when u see each other frequently! was so bored sittin there and listenin to them talk bout french.. bahhhhzzzzz....

what the fuck? why is it pple say im lucky to get andy? hello? HELLO? its supposed to be the other way round!!! wat do u mean by that? *curses and swears* hey. but i realised ahz... its not easy to adjust to being in a well... errr.. to being linked. as in.. now i see the wallpaper of my phone.. i wud go "eh? whu's tt?" then... ohhhhhhhh its me! and him! wait! its .. wait for it... us! somehow pictures make it look very superficial.. tts what i tink...

oooooOOOHHHH zu! is comin online!!! yay!

worst part of today: my french lecturer just had to ask me that (very difficult) question at that very moment when i was copying out my work. tamade! the thing is... last lesson, she said tt we were supposed to explain the blardi poem in french. so i made a draft and then the class goes and pass it up... so was just copyin it down nicely when she just had to ask me! and u noe wat the worst part is?? i understood and knew the answer to every one of her questions... except for the one i was asked! damnit.

best part of today: watchin the cleaners clean my toilet and hand me two rolls of toilet paper. they rock. the cleaners not the toilet paper. of coz if zu comes online and the transfer of pics can take place... then it wud automatically replace this one... im such an impatient brat..

is all these waiting really necessary? 

Exhibitionist

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

was bored to tears while doin french and got this quiz frm pei's and neela's blog... hmmmm

just thinkin.. at this moment rite now... every one is doin different stuff.. like jill is studyin for her exam( good luck sweetie!), pei is tryin to get out of hall's dinner.. mel is "lao-ing" yu sheng at courts.. zu is enjoyin the view in venus and of coz ting is on the plane to the land of her dreams.... amazin aint it?? i tink so..

sucks manzzzz..
i wrote this ultra long post only to have blogger hang on meee... *throws a fit*
anyways... like my new layout? thot the other one made readin a bit difficult.. hopefully this one is more reader-friendly!
happy v day! supposed to have classes and duty frm 8 am to 9 pm but then.... the wonders of "poning"
NUS teacher updates.
my french teacher's baby has rolled out of her. so im gettin a new french teacher.
my law tutorial teacher is a fucker. he honestly looks and talks like he is suckin sum sweet all the time. his attitude is not exactly endearing too. figures he is a SJI boy.
my finance teacher is frm china... not tt i mind.. but she... i cant figure out what she is saying... so yeah basically im fucked.
i tink my singapore studies teacher is addicted to coke.. as in coca cola..
yeahzzz...

since we had sch on v day, managed to wrangle my way out of the house and frm family day to go out with andy.. put two slackers together and what kind of outing do you get? one cable car ride at harbourfront and one extremely delicious nonya meal at east coast! he wanted to go for the catapult ride but was wearin a skirt so haha! v day was kinda funny coz we wanted the meiji's meltykiss chocs swc was givin out to pple who play.. then we quickly played it before law tutorial.. oh my!! the 2 boxes..... sweeeeett! oh basically the game was to just throw this dice and do watever the dice said... ours had to be piggy back you noe! damnit. well we skipped lect and went to town coz i had a sudden cravin for ding tai feng at paragon... it was very amusin to see all the couples nicely dressed and then you see .... us.. in shorts and t shirts...

caught racin stripes and constantine last week.. constantine is pretty good.. the good guy has a fuckin attitude prob and is damn funny in a way... watch it! i tink ting and pei wud reallie like it. of coz im not tt brave... was mostly hidin frm the screen... heh.. my boyfriend's side profile is pretty nice if u get wat i mean.. was petrified duriin certain scenes..

today is the day when ting leaves for australia.. sighzzz... im gonna miss you loads girl... it somehow seems weird to know tt you would be an ocean away... well.. since you finally got your wish... must appreciate it and reallie enjoy urself over there kk?? if not... im sure there are people here who will be more than willing to take ur place!! bwahahahaha.. be careful over there and take care of urself! then come bac and bore us all silly with your australian tales.. do keep in touch ok?? and most importantly.... SEND US THE PHOTOS! heh... just kiddin.. loved your letter btw... made me extremely happy to get the chantce to be good friends with you.. yet sad tt we have to walk different paths in life ... but hey! change is good and friends cant be too alike right? maybe.. a thot just struck me.. since we are all in different sectors of the economy.. it wud be funny if we cud work together on a project! like ting and zu will be in the business sector investin in this buidling project where i will be.. and neela will have to draw up the contract bein the smart aleck lawyer she will be... mel has to manage the project while pei will be doing the accounts! bwahahahahaha
got to eat lunch now...

i was lookin at my wishlist.. and realized i act got most of e stuff i wan like tutorial grps with frens and NUS files.. yay!
eneinem's newest song is not bad. anyways.. im reallie reallie reallie reallie glad tt we all met up on thurs nite! its rather sad tt another one of us is going off. im reallie gonna miss you ting.. sometimes i wish... hey listen..im reallie happy and proud for you ou to do what you did. you go girl! i would never have done it.. thanks for your letter. kinda brings bac the old NY days.. NY would have sucked without you guys.. and i had completely forgot bout the days when we laughed at neela and pei for gettin home much later than us! in a way im sad that all of us have chosen to take different paths in life.. yet in another way am glad that after such a long time apart, we can all still just sit down and be mad together in spite of our different lives now.
tt day i was just sittin in buildin lect (learnin about sound transmission loss in a room.. sighz!) and all of the sudden..an overwhelmin sense of loss came over ht game. i miss BINGO! it was then i suffered from major withdrawal symptoms! so started smsin every one in the midst of my depression.. zuhairah laughed at me! boooooOOOOO! anyways it was pretty weird to start smsin bout bingo... nearly cried with joy when geetha finally smiled her beautiful smile and said the magical words: "ok! let's play bingo!" for the record. i did not lose 8 straight games in a row this time.
big thanks to pei for actually takin time off on monday to bring me to little india! thanks girl! now im ready to face chinese new year! sorry tt i had to rush off right after that.. meeting andy's family was okay.. was actually pretty nervous bout meetin the whole extended family... and he did warn me that he may neglect me a bit coz he has not seen his cousin for a long time. but in the end.. his cousin didnt turn up.. so it was mostly his parents and siblings which i have alreadi met.. so life's good. met his grandma though and she just said "ok". hmmmmmmm...
hey jill.. are we on? im pretty much desperate at this point. bahhzzzz. kinda feel pity fro guys durin this period.. all the v day gifts i have seen are either cliche, or ex.. so sad. and it sucks to see someone open ur present and try to cover up their disappointment.. so poor guys.. as u noe.. girls expect.. ALOT! ha. so andy shud be pretty happy that since his babe is absolut ely BROKE, we have decided not to do anything for v day... hey! just realised tt we are pretty slack! we dun even haf a goddamn anniversary! wat the hell!! wait.. vern and ben have an anniverssary???!1 when was tt?? btw show me ur couple ring as soon as u get it kk?? u shud engrave "du lan" inside coz tt is wat ben always says!
hmmmm all of the sudden, im tired. i feel like gg bac to the muggin days. yeahz.. sure they were terrible horrible days but at least then i felt more alive than now. now i know why girls like to rock the boat. coz they wan a glimpse on how nice the guy was to them during courtship. this is dumb. tell me again why love exist? another question. how do u noe u are in love? what makes you so sure? fuck it. my water tastes weird.
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that dont want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if i took those words from you,
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

show me love and show me wat's it all about.

eminem's mockinbird
Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that upperlip up little lady
i told ya Daddy's here to hold ya through the night
I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why
We fear how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But i promise momma's gon' be alright

And if you ask me too
Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird
I'mma give you the world
I'mma buy a diamond ring for you
I'mma sing for you
I'll do anything for you to see you smile
And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine
I'mma break that birdies neck
I'd go back to the jewler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every carat don't fuck with dad