neela:
ok sigh contrary to what the previous post implies, im not that bloody happy. just wanted to get some crap of my chest. ok firstly, i'm really really scared. ANU has not replied!im not sure what i should do. everyone tells me there's no way they could possibly not accept me. so why havent i heard anything?
the second thing thats terrifying is the state of my english. dont laugh! i just feel like im slowly but surely losing my vocabulary. yeah bet some of you are thinking that there's no way thats possible. well it is. i let my tamil slip completely through my fingers. true, i do speak english everyday and practically never spoke a word of tamil. but thats not the point. i dont seem to be able to write or speak the way i used to. i cant express myself and its killing me! and thank you JM for making it so glaringly obvious. honestly, i have never used the word vignettes in my life! i've also realised that because i spend so much time with only my dog for company, i cant seem to hold a decent conversation anymore. (of course some may argue, when have i ever been able to? well f you! bleh!) and when i make a conscious effort i come across as completely brain dead. i refuse to let myself be ranked among the mandy moores and jessica simpsons of this world. and yet inane conversation seems to be the only thing im capable of. on the other hand, how could i possibly change this situation? making an effort only seems to make it worse. and i cant just let it slide. so yes, im feeling rather lost, perhaps even a tad depressed.
i feel stupid (and the award for understatement of the century goes to...)