am torn between the desire to cry or just stab myself in the hart. the dreaded day has come at last. nowadays go all over.. the only topic pple can tok to me about is the results. am seriosuly losing grip. even my own sister audrey is askin me about it. feel like i cud scream all over.
seriously. study ur brains out man. dun regret and get all fucked up like me. feel tt once the results are out.. will haf no life no prospects no future no anything else in singapore. but i. cannot. get. out. sorry gusy.. but i dun reallie wanna see anyone bfore during and aft i take my results. juz wanna go sumwhere quiet and cry my guts out. and escape reality for a while. pls dun call me.
wat am i gonna do? i noe haf faith in God. but if u didnt do your best.. how can God help you? *clutches head* this. is hell. dun wan to disapoint my family. haf disappointed them so many times. to fail this is to fail life in singapore. *dull* ya. i noe. God put us here for a reason. and to stop everything is to fail God. but i relalie cannot take it anymore. this is one hard lesson.
help me pls. i cannot take it. love you all


You are blessed with FAERY wings. Beauty,
laughter, life, magic...that's what you are all
about. You are refreshingly innocent and happy
with your life of purity and play. Life's a
game and it's a good one. In your eyes there's
no way to lose! You can be very mischeivous and
have been known to cause trouble, but it's all
in the name of fun and not meant to really harm
anyone. You like to play tricks on people who
aren't quite as bright or clever as you - which
is almost everyone. Nature is the setting you
prefer to be in - Always. Barefoot and wild you
can't be tamed. You're probably a restless
spirit who loves to travel, and quite a
dreamer. Your creativity is astounding and your
art (of whatever media - from writing to
painting to drama) is like something from
another world - ethereal and often very
fantasy-oriented. You can either be a social
butterfly or a loner with their head in the
clouds - but rarely inbetween. You stubbornly
refuse to accept responsibility or to give in
to the wishes of others - unless you feel like
it. You have a strong passion for music and
can't imagine life without it. You'll grow up
someday, but you'll always be a child at heart.
You are adventurous and love to take risks, and
feel a deep connection with the weather,
plants, and animals. You prefer sunshine to
thunder or snow, the warmth of summer to
autumn's chill, and quiet forests to suburban
backyards. Magic through and through, you are
far more powerful than you seem, and are
capable of being extremely passionate. Though
you can be childish, naive, stubborn, and self-
absorbed, one thing is certain - life with you
will never be boring!


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

juz read christine's blog.. *sob* my little couzzie.. all grown up!
shall paste it here.. just say i agree wif dis one.. budden the cutting? coz at tt point of time.. u feel like life is totally out of your control. the only thing u can control is ur body. when everything is spinning like crazy making you feel like sum sort of caged animal. wild and reckless. some binge on food, some run and sum.. well.. do other stuff. u dun see the scars coz u wun put them in an obvious position. so when u are having fun, u wun see.. juzt saying lahz.. okok shall paste it here..

"allow your life to be controlled by emotions. as in stupid emotions like crushes. like hello so many of ya'll tell me that ya'll cant get over that particular person cause you've really fallen inlove with them but think about it. most of ya'll dont even know them. in reality they're just eye candy but u went and made it so that u BELIEVE that u are inlove with them. furthermore, you dont know what love is. HELLO!!!!!! like we are jus teens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously loving someone means u wanta spend the rest of your live with them. and think bout it do u really wanta tie yourself to that person? if yes den fine i've got nothing to say except that dont let your life get ruled by them. but to the rest of ya'll all you are feeling is just attraction and simply because of that attraction you cant stop thinking bout them and all that shit. seriously it's ridiculous, IT"S YOUR LIFE why allow it to revolve arnd someone who most likely will not return your affections???? some of ya'll say that being in love means that u cant help thinking bout tt person 24/7 but really if love was that way, no one would get anything done. love doesnt mean that u'll think of someone 24/7, to love means to stay by that person's side no matter what, support them unwaveringly and just be there.love is for companionship. NOT to be like some psycho thinking,dreaming and mooning over the other. that's just a damn CRUSH MAN!!!!!!! sheesh."
*tears* my little baby cousin.. all grown up.. and ranting reasonable advice!!! golly!
went to work today!! had practiced on a nice uncommitted yet sociable smile when i went intot the office but itz wuz totally wasted.. coz there wuz no one there!! the pple working in my area wud just come in for like.. ermmm 15 mins?? then go off.. and the rest of the workers are seperated by on wall!! messed it up a bit.. hope i stapled the rite forms together.. but the office is isolated!! tink shall be all lonesome there.. the other office workers there are look at me like im frm some other planet or sumthing.. ah well shall bring my discman there then! so it will be me and discman and my only fren.. the photocopy machine! haiz...
okok qun is bac to normal very weird.. but ah well!

hmm.. sumthing is wrong wif my blog.. ah well.. i hurt in places where i never thot existed before! every tuesday nite.. i swear about 5 hairs turn white frm all the stress!!! but dee.. guess wat???!!! i got a new job !! yay!! of coz im still retaining my old one.. juz juggling another one.. and itz an office job!! in shenton way.. pretty excited!1 ya i noe.. im gonna work myself to exhaustion wif two(or hopefully 3? anhone got a weekedn job to intro?) but llike i told irene.. juzt feel like over exerting myself risking overexhaustion so tt i wun tink bout other stuff...anyway.. bout this job.. wun haf any my age so i guess i will do many neelas and go toilet myself!! sad man... ah well.. hope they like me.. my uncle said all of them there are b***hes so itz doesnt sound too good!!! heez.. shall be my most lovable self tml!! whheeeeee... am pretty excited bout tml.. hope itz good sia!! itz admin and supposedly got mnay files to catalogue.. hope i file properly!! golly..
siongwei is going away in may to uk for 6! 6!! 6 mths!! dunnoe why but last nite when he told me, wuz terribly shocked and upset over it!! itz not even like i see him everyday or we are good frens!!! still cant get over it.. 6 months??!! i noe email and yada yada yada but itz .. juz.. different! still rather unsettled by e news..i dunnoe. haiz..
u noe.. when i found qun a few mths a ago he had made a 180 degree change frm tt cynical bitter guy to this optimistic pollyanna who kept on dishing out love advice and corny phrases.. believing in love and all.. now im juz confused!! wat the hell happened to him again??!! *grinz* e reason why i can freely write their names?? coz they wun read!!
my piercing is bleeding!! *pause* smallvile isnt very addictive huh?? itz well.. old. jie jie tinks im gettin boring coz every time i open my mouth now, i tok bout kumon.. is tt true?*shrugs* well not reallie.. tink only wif her.. *shrugs* tt is not much in common to tok bout nowadays i guess. but i shall tell u a little story bout this horrible brat named (insert either nicky or samuel or aravin). AS told to junfong: there wuz a nice(hey hey hey! im pretty nice when i can be okok!!) little ger named adel. adel joined kumon to teach nice kids(insert nice kids laughing and playing) she was perfectly happy till she met tt prat named (insert choosen name). then she dieded. the end.
oh i finally noe wat is my new co worker's name.. Jabriel! today kept on callin him so tt he can help me wif my work load!! haw haw haw! BUDDEN got new ger!! and next week got another one!! the new ger never look at me any more than necessary!! so sad lorz!! am i tt ugly??!! wahahahah resolve to tok to her! serioius!! she juz appeared yest and went off before i cud grab opportunity to tok to her!! well except for "are you free? can u mark this guy's work? coz im reallie dying now" which isnt much of an introduction huh?? shall be nice and friendly.. make new frens1! nice sociable adel1 bwahahaha that alreadi sounds wrong.
i realized ah.. since i got work.. no more allowance!!! hmmm... ah well.. oh! i saw grace at bugis.. she's wearing contacts now.. the ticket to sgs dinner costs 50 bucks1! am gonna go there another day to take photos.. tt will save me 50(!!) bucks.. geez.. i choked when i saw the message lay ching sent me!!
yeoooww jie has this fat burning lotion which she so generously shared wif me.. MAN!! it had better burn some fats!! all this pain for nothing??!! will so drown the manufacturer in the lotion!! PAINNNN!!

relaized tt half or more of my blogs consist of a seriously pissed me.. but wats a diary for? itz kinda when u are down and ungappy tt u tok bout it rite??
if u tink tt this blog is different. tough luck! quite upset now.. why is it aft u come bac frm a rare shoppin trip u haf to justify every one of ur purchases.. ok hey.. so tastes are different but u dun haf to rag on everyone of my purchases u noe. so ya ok. i indulged in a nice pair of slippers. ya so itz frm URS and u dun like it. itz not like im gonna put a gun to ur head to wear it. im gonna wear it not you. pple will laugh at me not you so wats the prob? ex? ok but isnt it my money? why do i wake up in the morining to tolerate kids? and besides the slipper wuz on sale! i thot it was a good deal! wud rather buy a nice quality pair to last me a few years than buy many lousy quality slippers. seriously.. itz not like i haf many pairs of shoes.. both of my slippers are spoilt! besides i like to indulge on myself once in a while. if i dun spoil myself whu will? you? HA! ya. rite. geez.. and wats gets me red hot? u dun haf to say i haf ec taste juz coz one pair of slippers. okok can hear u saying "enuff of the slippers alreadi!"right. so only u get to rag on my slippers at every opportunity u get. u remind me of how ex my slippers are. for crying out loud! this is the first day im wearing them! will u just shut up? if u step on my toe accidentally DUN say itz coz my slippers doesnt haf any covering.!! wat stupid logic is tt???!! and dun compare ur price of slippers to mine. itz stupid, childish and juvenile. i happen to tink tt my slippers are wonderful so if u dun like it.. aft one day of criticism can u pls respect my wishes for once and stop raggin on it!!!!

okok but wat i cant stand? aft knowing tt i haf bought something alreadi, pple pointing out later like 5 mths later hey the price went down. so? am i gonna jump ard and say lets buy more even thoug i alreadi haf one juz coz the price went down?? isnt it gonna be more likely tt i wud be feeling grumpy bout my losing out on a good deal? i bought it at tt time coz i thot it wuz appropriate. and aft i tell u to stop it, u continue to tok all bout tt how it has gone down and why didnt i wait ... heard of ignorance is bliss?! this is not the first time or the second. and itz reallie getting on my nerves. am so upset now. wat the hell is ur prob? i bought it because i like it! do i haf fotune telling skills? can i see tt this item wud go down? so seriously. get off my case!!!

so terribly upset now. i love my slippers and bag and pants. tt's why i dun show u my purchases. why wud i want someone to mock my tastes? i tink audrey is mad. she's obsessed wif my single status. haf a good mind to take a guy tt is exactly the oppostie of wat they like hme to show my family so they can back off!!! am going seriously seriously mad here

im siccckk hence u are forced to read this whole blog full of crap. *wails* oh lemme wallow in my self pity for a while.. wuz seriosuly freaked out yest morning.. anyway am in such a foul mood now. survivor sucks!!! how can they?? do this?? *sputters* they are horrible!! *does a 7 eleven adverd(rem ?? rem??u dun?? ah well screw it) NOOOOOOoooooooooo.. hope rob m dies. in the firggin. hot sun. alone. doesnt he noe can only screw one person at a time!!! geez! i hope he gets sucked by mozzies (sorry tim but i cant tink of any other insect ) to death! wish all kinds of death on him. the jerk! i will stab him stab stab stab. ooohhh my immense hate..
workin wif the other guy is not bad. he loves kids.. so u noe evil me.. heh heh...
oh man.. blog block again. i haf flabby arms!! stoopid exercise is not working.. yest wuz like jumpintg up and down going yayayayay coz i lost 3 kg.. today step up on it(hey hey hey! i noe wat u are tinking kk!! i dun weigh myself regularly.. jie asked me to weigh and aft sum serious persuading.. and the machine wuz there!!! like.... *searchs brain frantically for a word* .. mount everest or sumthing!! anyway today.. stepped up on it aft 2 bowls of koko krunch?? the 3 kg came running back!!! seriously. spoily. machine(yesh self denial. blame the machine. well garfield does tt!) but how can 2 bowls of ko ko krunch do anything?? damn spoilt machine.
dunnoe hy.. but tink white nail polish wud be seriously nice to look at! shall see whetehr tml can buy... okok blog block has seriosuly settled in on my puny grey mass.. ciao

bwahahhahaa!!! check ur mail box for this mail bout ur birthday characateristics.. im a turtle!!! bwahahhahahahaha!!

If you are a Turtle: You are near to perfect and nice at heart.The examples of your kindness are always circulated in groups of people.You, too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even to a person who is in the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish to talk behind one's back. People love the way you always treat them. You can give, give and give love, and the best part is that you do not expect it back in return.You are generous enough.Seeing things in a practical light is what remains the best trait of you guys.

hmmm i dun tink itz very true!!! but watever. guess wat?? got a new colleague.. he's tall and has a weird name.. and next month another girl wud be joining in..both of them shud be a couple lahz.. i mean.. which guy fren wud coem all the way frm kallang just to work for a few hours unless the ger whu intro to him the job is his girlfren?? feeling rather skeptical bout them.. but we'll see.. thank goodness im no longer the newbie!! and im a great trainer!! bwahahah.. right mel?? but stress sia! this worker resigned and now sometimes got to take over her place.. goodness!! the kids she teaches.. are spoilt rotten!! and so slow.. must always tell them to concentrate or help them! grrr.. wuz thinkin"thanks a lot" and i realized sumthing too.. im the noisiest of the whole lot of workers!! realized it today.. bwahahhaa.. nowadyas haf to wake up early.. wuz reallie happy when told to work in the morning for the month of feb.. but now... so tired all the time!!!

haf an immense craving for koko krunch nowadays.. OH OH OH!! and now.. we haf ultrman stickers to gif the chidren for good behaviour.. and guess wat?? the ultra man stickers are the same pirated ones fanny bought!!! so funny lorz.. buit nowaydas kids all not as excited to see the ultraman sticker as i am.. prefer powerpuff girls.. pah! kids nowadays.. no taste! but buttercup is kinda cool..

mrs tay act asked audrey to ask me whether i wan to be a senior for their brownies watever.. i wuz like..CHEEK! all the vulgarities all swarming ard in my head..some pple reallie haf short term memory.. but decided to be nice and tld audrey no without revealin my reasons. hmm dunnoe why.. but when writing huiyi's testimonial all the horrible teacher memories all came swarming up.. remembering all those times miss c made us so miserable.. itz true lahz.. u reallie do bond when both of u haf gone thru this rough period.. all these years always wanted to *grin* well carry out wat richard said he wud do to mr singh!!! but patience.. charmaine hasnt taken over the world yet.. so still awaiting my present!!! oh teachers... one bad one is like a rotten apple itz enuff to make u hold all feelings towards teachers!!

feel like watching a movie but no nice movie to watch lehz.. no wan go see pple go war so cold mountain is def out. or stupid dumb shows(goodbye polly) or watch ang moh kia play swords.. wish tt jhoney can cum out faster.. muz pig out on popcorn!! so sad lorz.. tink rob c is not very liked in chapera!! oh no! i heart him!!!! wan him to win!! if he dun... *haiz* rob c!! yesh on the rob c love train!!

am so tired.. my new phone is frankly.. a sms deterrent!! so difficult to type messages! geez.. and guess wat? tink me damn swuay lorz.. today when rushing to town to meet pei sharon and rebecca.. guess wat?? *glum look* wah lau.. reallie unlucky.. on the bus to AMK saw this guy at the bus stop tt looked a lot like stalker!! natural reaction?? of coz turn and try to hide frm his sight juz in case.. then wuz thinkin cannot be... pple live in buona vista.. cannot.. arrgghh.. yesh u can pretty much guess wat happened... while walking to the station frm the stop wuz trying to check out the bus i sat on (at the stop pretty much hopped on the first bus tt came along!) and saw bus 165 so knew my bus had gone be4 the traffic light turned red.. now everyone ard me wuz running towards the stop.. so wuz half laughing to myself and half waking reallie fast.. and then my phone rings.. now yesh im pretty dumb but how i wuz to noe wud be so unlucky?? haiz.. turns out itz reallie wuz him! and he wuz on the damn 165! okok end of mention here.. juz for you christine..
so tired.. but didnt get any shopping done.. cham ah..hmm this v day is getting to me.. feel like kissing sumone aft reading the 8 days mag11! bwahahaha but kana misunderstood aft tt lorz! haiz~! shall shout it out again.. i thot u were talkin bout stalker! KFC and BK dun haf much diff (at least for tt moment)! anyway.. wuz discussinig wif sharon and realized sumthing.. need to get meself a crush! crushes are so fun! my last one wuz like only 4 days?? geez! omigawd@!! one of ryan's groomsman is soooo cuuute!! anyway where wuz i?? oh. and sharon managed to convince me tt doesnt mean a pri 1 boy can sit quietly and do work wud auto mean he's a crush! why doesnt anyone believe me when i say im dateless for v day??!1 arrrghh bring up stalker and my baseball bat will so swing.
*struts ard like a peacock* am finally a student at AMK driving centre but pretty nervous abt the lessons out on the roads coz AMK quite busy rite? but admittedly tt day wuz a bit put off.. coz .. hmm dun noe how to put the problem into words.. need shoes though.. relaized tt my poor little feet are abused.. they look so.. dry... hmmm...
am thinkin of gettin a weekend job so if anyone got recommendations ple refer to me kk?? thanks!
okok i cant tink of anything to write.. hence all this crap.. all while waiting for samsung mobile page to load! arrgrhh itz driving me crazy!

OOMIIIGAWDDD!!! I PASSED! I PASSED! *JUMPS ARD IN GLEE* I PASSED!!! AHHHHHH..... UNNNBEEEELIEVABLE!! SO HAPPY!
oh man.. cant believe this! i passed... YAYYAYYYYSAYAYAY!! man.. how can one word bring so much joy to one??!!!HA! singapore better watch out! im gonna hit the roads! WAHAHAHHAHAHA.. oko if u still haven got a clue.. I PASSED my driving test!! YAYYAYAYYAYAY!
Life is def lookin up.. got meself a new phone! yay!! wif colour somemore! love my dad so much! (hence black yet.. for the time being).. but itz samsung so not very used to it hence all the slow sms! eeeee but my plan cheat my money lorz.. say free incoming calls act frm 7am to 7pm so if u wanna call me during the day feel free to do so kk?? but aft 7 me will most prob call ur phone instead.. said it once and say it again.. such a great phtographer! and i cannot believe my phone has a tamagovhi??!! oh lordy a cat somemore.. sure die one!!! but quite bulky need to go look for a cover.. hmm...
wahahhahaha and on sun.. ooohh .. finally gettin leather seats! cant wait till april! pity sia! didnt take driving ealier if not can get to drive the car before it gets towed away1 tink dad wun mind if i scratch the car then!
anyone heard ruben's sorry 2004?? man itz niceeee lorz.. haiz.. but wan to hear a original one frm him lehz.. oh man.. im high on chocs.. uyesh imagine my size! been tryin to wake up to go jogging but to no avail coz still wake up wif my pyjamas pinned to the bed.. damn!~ i love life... i love the world! yesh even big ol georg bush! YAY! i love the world. love my phone love my results! well at least until this choc high ends...
need a shoppin trip badly.. realized tt wear mostly the same combi everywhere!! did imentioned i passed my driving test! omigawd! am so bloody happy! now excuse me while i go love the world!!! gonna learn driving at AMK!!! YAY! so if u fear for ur life steer clear of yio chu kang roads!!! BWAHAHAHAHHA I PASSED! I LOVE MY PHONE! yesh... itz all bout me.. YAY!

arrghhh.. aft 15 days of waiting.. im not allowed to dye hair.. AGAIN! so so so ANGRRRRYYYY... damnit.. coz "it will cause cancer. blah blah blah. not good for you. blah blah blah." geez thanks mom but dun u dye ur hair every 3 weeks too? where's the harm? " fololow the crowd. blah blah blah" wat crowd? everyone is in sch!!!!!!! whu is dyeing? damnit. so very angry.
every tues and sat aft dearest nicholas gan, realized tt will cum hme throughly exhausted and indulge in a choc binge. damnit. gettin fat here. sighz... but there is this guy.... he is sooo cute lorz!! pri 2 i tink.. reallie very nice.. when play he is so mischievous! but when haf to study he will be reallie reallie focused.. so cute! ok now experiencin a blog block.
this v day will be sittin hme nervously waiting for my driving test results.. ooohhh hope i passs.. realle reallie.. if not will go crazy on the chocolate!

i realized tt my blogs always haf a part where im happy as a bunny and then a pessimistic part.. hmmm
anyway.. pretty pissed off rite now.. arrghhh when will he ever stop being so irritating?? *tears hair out* im not sure how many pple read this but hopefully reading dis damn blog will save u. this guy.... *indulges in a scowl*called ee seng. is in my frenster. and this ee seng. may be goin thru my frens. and askin them to add him. stupid. moronic. pig. irritating. swine. so if he ever message u.. *sighz* askin u to add him. u noe how he got to noe you. and will be able to decide whether to add him a not. my advice. Dont. but itz ur call. i. cannot. stand. him.

*perks up* and wif tt over and done wif. geez. reallie puts a damper on mood noe.. anyway! these few days haf been pretty fun.. met sharon on sat and wuz cursing my way thru chingay before i met her.. wuz hoping for rain (heh!) then realized tt it wouldn be good wif everyone crowdin in the buildings! realized like chris a bit.. dun reallie like crowds.. anyway sat wuz fun! so wuz today.. realized tt as grow older do less walkin and more talkin wif frens! wuz great juz sitting there and tokin and tokin... but would reallie like to go pubbing at least once before... well at least once.. oh geez.
u noe.. a thot juz hit me.. about pei's blog block.. cud it be coz our lives haf become so mundane hence the block.. man hope not. wat a discouragin thot! tryin to tink of a new email add for hotmail.. so can sign up for msn.. so if got any ideas can shout out to me??
geez. asked for sum love advice and turns out to take an interest in tt guy's activities is as difficult as believing pamela anderson act did not haf any bust enhancements. geez. so much for research! tts it.. somuch work tryin to follow a crush! forget it! so much for incentive woman huh? hee.. shall juz sit bac and enjoy eye candy!
one thing bout gardening is tt u get a nice tan.. unfortunately itz only ur back tt gets tanned! so the behing and front haf two very different shades!! wahahahhaha!
the play sat nite fever is so ex! *groanz* so scrap tt plan for watching it sia... anyway enjoy this blog skin coz gonna change it soon.. the colour combi a bit off dun u tink?/

*shrieks* ONE MORE DAY!!! ONE MORE DAY! to wat? how can u ask such a question?? to survivor! ahhh..simply cannot wait! oh geez.. i haf a serious craving for choc now.. hmmm..regret the day i asked audrey wat she wanted.. stupid prat act assumed tt i wud buy it for her and then started sulkin and hurrying me to buy it for her before wed.. hello? pay comes next week. anyway she got her dumb shoes. so pissed wif her.
guess wat? jie got the VCD of legally blonde for me!!! hey hey hey.. i didnt watch it when it first came out ok. nicceee... hey! even my mom sat down to watch it kk.. and my mom doesnt juz sit down to watch any show!
got a bloody sore throat today.. yesh imagine my anguish and others' joy when i couldnt tok! oh man.. im reallie bored. cant tink of anything else to say so ah well